I'll be there

“When your backs up on the wall; chronic failure you've been called; When you feel there's no escape I'll be there.” - Tiffany Evans

Safaree ran pass the elevator and rushed up the stairs of the apartment complex. Although it may have been easier and quicker to take the elevator he just didn't have the patience to wait on it. He feel as if he just made the biggest mistake of his life and needed to fix it before his life came crashing down around him. This was love.

When he finally reached the 5th floor of the building he glanced at the far end of the hallway where her apartment was located. He paced back and forth quickly wondering how he had been so stupid to break up with her, to break her heart, to leave the love of his life because he was mad at the world. He was never mad at her she just tried to comfort him in his time of need but him cry in front of a woman that he made a promise to stand strong for, no. He couldn't do that. She had to leave before he broke down in front of her and she wouldn't leave. She wouldn't go so he had to break her heart. She had to go. What else could he had done?

5 hours earlier

Safaree had been in his apartment for 3 days now alone. No food. No water. No nothing. Alone. He was laying in his bed with the permanent scowl that had been set to his face since he left the hospital. He wouldn't answer his phone or his door. He felt like he needed to be alone. That's not what he needed. He was dragging himself into a deep depression. Something he may not be able to get out of if he didn't get help soon.

Safaree heard his apartment door open and close. Having no idea who it was or caring he laid there in silence. He silently hoped it was someone there to take his life away; someone to relieve him of the pain he felt in his heart. He felt a hand on his shoulder but still had yet to face who was standing behind him. The person sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed the back of his head. All of a sudden he felt calm and he felt all of the emotions he tried to hold back ready to be released. Then, he knew who it was behind him.

“Nicki, What are you doing here?” He said emotionless. 

“Baby, you have to get up. You can't sit in this house forever and hide from reality. You have to get up. Please.” Her voice broke. 

“Leave.” He got up and grabbed her hand furiously pulling her towards the door. 

“You can't be here Nicki. You have to leave. Go home.” He said still pulling her towards the door not knowing that he was slightly dragging her. He would never hurt her intentionally but right now was just not a good time. 

“Safaree, let me go. I'm not leaving. Baby, you need to talk to someone. You can't hold all of this in.” She said calmly. 

“NICKI LEAVE.” He yelled once they were in front of the door. 

“No. I won't leave you like this. I love you and I hate seeing you like this.” She reached for his face but he pushed her hand away. 

“I can't do this anymore Nicki. You have to leave.” As he said those words it broke her heart into a million pieces. She knew he was just upset but it hurt her to hear those words from him. 

“Can't do what?” She asked afraid of the answer she would receive in response. 

“US. YOU. I DON'T LOVE YOU NICKI CAN'T YOU SEE? LEAVE. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. LEAVE.” He yelled making her jump. 

“Baby, you don't mean that.” She cried. “Yes, I do. Leave.” He said through gritted teeth. She looked into his eyes and noticed she was not talking to her Safaree. The love of her life but what would she expect from a man that just lost his mother. She left without another word.

Once she left he slammed the door shut and slid down it. He put his head in his hands and just cried. For the first time since the doctor came out and told him she didn't make it. He cried. It was the worst pain in the world and what made it worse is that he just pushed away the love of his life, his world, his Nicki. After attempting to pull his self together he made his way out to fix things for the first time in 3 days.


Present

Safaree stood outside of Nicki's apartment door contemplating on whether or not he should knock. Would she forgive him? Would she take him back? Finally, he knocked on the door. After knocking for what seemed like forever she finally opened the door. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her face was puffy from crying. When she saw who was standing in front of her she felt the urge to run into his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay but like before she didn't want to be rejected. She went back into her home leaving the door open for him to come in without saying a word.

When Safaree entered he found her in the living room sitting on the couch surrounded by balled up tissues. He felt every emotion he had felt when he saw her earlier rushing back to him. The difference between then and now though was he couldn't hold back. He couldn't fight the tears that burned his eyes.
He walked over to her and pulled her into his lap. He immediately rested his head into her breast and not a second later after she wrapped her hands around his neck he released. He released everything. She held him not saying a word. There were no words for this moment. No words for this emotion. No words to mend his heart. No words to bring his mother back. Nothing.

Once he released everything he looked up into her eyes and she wiped his tears.

“I thought I lost you.” He said barley audible.

“I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have tried to push you away. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that. Baby, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don't know what I would do without you. You're all I have. I love you. I need you.” He said as he fought to hold back the second round of tears that were threatening to spill. Before he could say anything else she kissed him. Suddenly he felt like he needed that. He felt like that was his only way of breathing. His only way of staying put together. His love. His glue. He deepened the kiss.

The kiss felt as if it lasted for hours. So many emotions released through this kiss. The love. The passion. The need. He needed this right now. He needed her. He laid her back on the couch and kissed down her neck. She moaned out in pleasure as he made his way to her spot. He kissed her neck and traveled down to the crest of her breast. He pulled her shirt over her head and removed her bra. He pulled her nipple into his mouth and sucked as if her body was his only supplement for living. His only chance at life. She moaned and rubbed the back of his head fighting the need to grind her body into his. She needed this. She wanted this.
He picked her up and carried her to her room eager to finish what they had started. Eager to express his love. He laid her on the bed and kissed down her body. Once he made it to the top of her pants he unbuttoned them and slid his tongue across her skin. He felt the heat radiating off of her body as he placed slow sensual kisses all over. He slowly removed her pants before going and kissing her lips again. She darted her tongue into his mouth and gripped the sides of his shirt moaning. He lifted off of her and removed his t-shirt. He slowly went back to her and made his way down to her now soaked thong. He removed her thong and blew down her slick folds. Her body shivered as she moaned letting him know she wanted more. He quickly licked up her folds and watched as her body jerked forward letting him know she wanted this.

He moved his tongue around her clit and sucked her into his mouth. She moaned and tried to escape his mouth because as much as she felt she needed this the over dramatic emotions that they both felt moved throughout her making her orgasm more extreme. She yelled and moaned as he continued though he hadn't understood a word that come out of her mouth he read her and she wanted more. He sucked, licked, and plunged his tongue in and out of her until he felt she had enough. He released her and gave her a passionate kiss letting her taste her juices. He grunted when she pulled him closer and stuck her had down the front of his basketball shorts. She gripped him and pushed him back enough so she can sit and he was standing directly in front of her. He pushed his basketball shorts and boxers down and massaged his erection. She looked up at the pleasure on his face and swiftly licked his tip. He took a deep breath and she pulled him forward into her mouth. She deep throated him and pulled him out again massaging his erection.

He felt the ultimate pleasure as she worked him into her mouth. It had never been this intense before. He had never showed his emotions but tonight there was no use in trying to hide them when she read him like a book. He pushed her back right before he came in her mouth and plunged into her releasing everything he had. He needed more. He stayed in her and kissed her until he felt himself harden again. He wanted this. He slowly begin to plunge in and out of her making her moan and beg for more. He kissed her neck and made passion marks still going at the same pace. He wanted this to last as long as possible. She couldn't take it. He was driving her crazy with his slow thrusts making her reach her peak earlier than expected. Her orgasm made him go into overdrive.

He begin to move in and out of her at a quick pace. He went harder, faster, and deeper. It was like he couldn't control himself and she was enjoying every minute of it. She gave him back everything he gave. She flipped him over and rode him. She grind her hips as she felt pleasure zip through her body like lightening zipping through the sky. Tired of her pace Safaree grabbed her and slammed her down on him and in return received a scream that turned into a moan. He begin to bounce her up and down not letting her take control anymore as her body slumped over. She whimpered into his neck as he took over and pounded into her. He stood up still inside of her pumping. He pulled out and positioned her on her knees and elbows with her ass in the air and her head resting on the bed. He came behind her and without warning slammed into her again. He begin grinding into her breathing heavily in her ear. Her moans grew louder as she reached her peak for the third time tonight. The way her walls clenched him made him release right behind her. He pulled out and fell on the bed next to her and pulled her close.

Tonight was different. Sleep did not take over after their love making session instead they both laid there with thoughts running through their heads. Neither knew how to start so they sat there and stared at each other until Safaree broke the silence. 

“I love you Nicki.” She looked down. 

“I love you Nicki. I didn't mean anything I said earlier. I'm sorry.” He said pulling her chin up to look up at him. He saw tears in her eyes and the tore his heart apart making him angry at himself for being the cause of the hurt look on her face. 

“Why did you say that to me, Faree? What did I do?” She asked. He looked at her hurt taking over his eyes as he tried to explain. 

“You didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I just needed you to leave. I couldn't let you see me like that. You wouldn't leave. I had to make you leave.” He held his head down knowing that was no excuse to treat her the way he did. 

“Nicki. I lost my mom. I didn't want you to see me break down. I didn't want you to see me cry. I'm supposed to be the strong one. I'm supposed to comfort and protect you but I hurt you. I'm so sorry.” She sat up and pulled him up to face her. 

“Safaree, you don't always have to be strong. It's okay to cry sometimes. It's okay to break down sometimes as long as you find that strength to pick yourself back up. I'm your partner. Let me help you. You can talk to me. I won't judge you, Faree. I love you.” She explained. 

“I don't know if I can accept this. I don't know what to do.” He looked at her with pain and fear in his eyes. 

“Take one step at a time. I'm going to be here the whole way. I'm going to help you through this. I loved her as if she was my own mother. I will always be here for you. I understand you're hurting and that's your mother but baby I'm hurting too. I just have to stay strong for you. We will get through this. Together. I promise.” She said with tears falling from her eyes. 

“I love you baby.” Safaree said wiping the few tears that escaped her eyes. 

“I love you too Faree.” He laid down and pulled her next to him both falling into a peaceful sleep. This was going to be a journey.